A first date is meant to be relaxed and fun. It’s not a job interview, but if you don’t have the right conversations prepared it can often feel like one. Pauline Plott is here to give us the tools to get the conversation in full swing on those first dates.It's essential to have a good idea of what you want to talk about on your date, as well as an understanding of what you are trying to learn about your date through these discussions. Listed are five great conversation starters for your first date or even online dating and the many things they can reveal about who your date is and whether you are suited to one another.
1. What Places Have You Travelled To?
Travelling is a virtually universally loved activity. It expands our ideas of the world and enables us to create lasting memories and great experiences. It is, therefore, a natural subject to bring up on a first date. It also lends itself to deeper conversations and tangents that are engaging and interesting.
Whether your date has been around the world or is planning a big trip in the future, travel is a great topic that is sure to evoke an enthusiastic passionate response. It is also sure to bring up commonalities you have with your date and may even help you get some ideas for your future dates.
2. What is Your Ideal Day?
We all picture our perfect day in different ways. This is because the definition of our perfect day is actually an inside look into our psyche. Both our aspirations and inspiration are revealed by our own perceptions of what an ideal day looks like and that makes it a great topic of conversation for a first date.
Like the topic of travel, this question can also lead to further discussions about what your date thinks about the world and what their ideal existence might look like. These may seem like heavy subjects, but the way they are framed adds levity to the conversation, while giving you a better picture of the person you’re with.
3. Why Did You Choose Your Job?
Once you’re done discussing the things that you would like to be or do, you can move on to topics that provide more background on the here and now. When it comes to “real world” discussions, t’s not uncommon to ask someone what they do for a living. You can turn this question on its head by instead asking why your date chose the profession they are in.
Few people enjoy talking about work during their leisure time, but most are happy to recall exactly what brought them to their current occupation. This recollection can lead to interesting stories from the past, as well as discussions about the future. It can also give you an idea about the nature of your date. Do they like working with people or is their job more reclusive? The topic is more revealing than you may think.
4. What You Were Like as a Child?
Asking someone about their family can lead to some potentially uncomfortable responses. Instead of focusing on you date’s family, simply ask what their childhood was like. The answers to questions about parents and siblings will come out naturally as a result, but you will avoid bringing up anything that could potentially be an awkward subject.
Childhood recollections can be very interesting and telling. The things we remember tend to be the things that have had the greatest effect on who we are. If they are happy recollections, it probably means your date had a good upbringing and comes from a good family. If not, it may lead to deeper conversations for later, but ones that definitely should not be initiated on a first date.
5. Tell Me a Secret
You wouldn’t think that asking a near stranger to tell you a secret on a first date would be a good idea, but most people are often intrigued when the question is posed to them and often they are more than willing to provide an interesting little tidbit about themselves.
This can be a good trust-building conversation and can act as a fun memory for the relationship in the future. It can also be a good way to gauge certain aspects of your date. If, for example, they tell you that they had a crush on their neighbor growing up, that would be a fairly innocuous, yet entertaining secret. On the other hand, if they tell you something they probably shouldn’t, it can be a good indicator that they aren’t exactly with it.
About the Author
Pauline Plott is a London-based blogger who became a dating guru after learning the psychology behind modern romance and signing up for every dating website in pursuit of relationship bliss. She shares her reviews and opinions on DatingSpot.co.uk.